OPPOSITION: 1. The action of opposing, resisting or combating.
I am unhappy with the current happenings in my life. Frustrated. Dissatisfied on the deepest level. At odds with everything, I feel as though things have come to a standstill. I get so angry anymore. No matter what I do, what I try, it all feels so wrong.
“You don’t belong here.” “You aren’t meant to do this.” “This is not who you are.” My heart constantly whispers. These words just echo in my mind, working to drive me mad.
I am so angry.
But that is a topic for another day. Today, we are here to talk about opposition. We often refer to this word when someone is against us or in our way. The thing that makes us hold back. That employer in the way of your dream job, unwilling to call or even glance at your application. That family member disgracing your life decisions because they “always knew you weren’t fit to find your own way“.
Currently, I am working hard to unfold the very things that stand in my way. I ask myself, “What are my oppositions?” It feels so important, with the alarms ringing in my ears to dig deep and discover that which prevents me from moving forward. Where did this begin? Where is it stemming from? Who is doing this to me?
So, I reflect. After months of being mistreated by my previous employer, I quit. I didn’t have a replacement but I knew without a doubt that I could not handle to stay in that pit of snakes any longer. After my ups and downs of last month and being unemployed, I grew angry. The truth is that I had really wanted to work there and still desire to do so. But they ruined it for me. Over and over I think, They ruined everything for me. I could then say, here, this is an opposition. But is it really? They did not force me to leave. I chose to leave. I could have stayed. Fought more. But I had honestly grown tired and ran out of fight. They no longer deserved my time and I recognized that, packed my things and was on my way.
In the past month, I have felt everything has been against me. Why? Why does it need to be this difficult for me to achieve? I have learned in this time more of who I am, what I have been missing. I realized that now was the time I wanted to make my life happen EXACTLY the way I want. Be who I deserve to be.
What are my oppositions?
Money? Yeah that has been tight and a great source of stress. Work? I don’t enjoy the job I just started even though it is not too bad. I just don’t feel any passion for it. What is in my way? Are there people really standing in my way? Circumstances stopping me from getting to where I want to be? That answer is simply NO. And if someone were to oppose me, I would knock them down without hesitation.
The only thing in my way is my own self. It is an internal fight. Doubting and degrading my capability. Part of it is fear. But why should I feel fear about doing the things that I love?
That is a reality I need to wake up to. That no matter what stands in my way, I am the only one who can truly stop me from doing what I know is right. I put up the barriers. I shut the gates. I take no action. I am the opposition.
But just the same, I am the key.
I am the gatekeeper. I am as strong as I am wise. I am my own creator.
And these are the words I wish everyone lived by. When things are hard. Impossible. You can make it happen. You can create your way. Stop being your opposition.
Be as beautiful, dynamic and great as you know deep down you really are.
Ask yourself, what is holding you back? That answer will always be: You.